It's July...

It's been a LONG time since I've blogged. Which means: it's been a long time since I've lost weight. Oops. Well, set backs happen.

Easter happens. April came around and I went off my plan for a week to enjoy the festivities. Well a week turned into a little longer. Since then I've been eating well on and off. But that's ok. I'm still down some. As of today my weight is 195. I'm still down since when I started, and I'm picking the pieces back up again.

I'm in a wedding this September, which means I have to wear a bridesmaid dress and it's sleeveless. Well, I'm SO self conscious of my arms. But I'm not looking at this negatively, instead it's motivation!

So the past week I've been eating really well. Today I exercised. Here I am again. Hopefully by the end of the year I'll be back down to where I want to be.

HOWEVER, I'll say this right now, the wedding is in only 10 weeks! I really would like to lose a lot of weight in the next 10 weeks. Basically, I want to see how much I'm capable of. So here I go, and more aggressively than ever- you might say. Not that I'm going to resort to sticking my finger down my throat, mind you. But I am going to exercise harder, longer, and I'm adding some weight lifting. Also, my diet will be more strict than ever. In with the tuna and dressing-less salads. In with the water. In with the carrot sticks. Out with the milk, out with the breads, out with the starchy potatoes. You're now looking at a whole grain only kinda girl.

I'm relaxed, I'm not pushing myself harder then I should, just harder than I ever have. I need to do this for myself, let alone the wedding.

Hopefully I'll be posting again soon...


Here are some things I've discovered since I last posted, things that can't hurt to bad, and actually kinda help:

Enviga- supposedly a "negative calorie" drink (digesting it makes you burn more calories than it contains). This isn't why I drink it, however, it's fruity carbonated style helps me avoid one of my worst enemies: SODA.

Chocolate Rice Cakes- at 50 calories a pop you can't have any guilt over these. The chocolate or caramel flavors have helped me wean myself off sweets. (Who said you could just go cold turkey and have success? I'm not going to try and be a hero)

Low Fat Chocolate Whipped Yogurt- okay, so it's not that great compared to an apple, but when I'm PMSing and I really need something chocolaty, this helps me out a lot. The Kroger brand has only about 2.5 grams of fat and a lot of the good stuff like protein. So since I can't have my pudding...

Blue Bunny Fudgesicles- one thing that I should still stay away from, even though it's not that bad for you. They're fat free and around 60 calories for each pop. It's not the worst way to sin.

186

I'm bloated and crampy. This past week has been really really really bad for me. On Sunday we spent the whole day putting in hardwood floors at my parents. From like 9am- 10pm. The next morning I was so sore. The next morning was also the day I was supposed to go back on track after my "okay day". Well, I wasn't able to exercise because I hurt so much. And I was sore until Thursday. When I don't exercise in the morning I lose my self control. So pretty much I went off my plan from Sunday to Wednesday. I'm really mad at myself. But I'm going to keep going.

On Tuesday, for the first time, two of my coworkers finally commented on my weight loss. They both said at separate times that I looked thinner. That was great to hear.

I'm also -26 lbs at this point, which is good. I bet if I hadn't messed up to much in February I'd be even further along. But -26 lbs in a month and a half is pretty darn good too.

At work my wedding ring gets really lose. I'm going to have to have it resized soon. I'm around where I was at my wedding now that I'm in the 180's.

Easter is a goal to me. I want to get as far as I can before Easter, so I can wear a pretty dress. Well, Easter is 34 days away. If I work as hard as I did in January when I first started this, I think I can get pretty far. Let's see how well I can do...

191

Almost into the 180s! My wedding ring is noticeably bigger on me. There was a point where I struggled to get it off. As I'm nearing my weight that I was at my wedding, I'm sure that fairly soon I'll have to get it resized.

I measured myself when I got home today because I changed in front of the mirror, and for the first real time I could really tell I was a little thinner. It's harder to tell on yourself, I think.

I won't list all the measurements here because I don't have much time, but I will say, that all over my body so far I've lost around 15 inches total! My hips probably lost the most, at -3 inches! Whoa.

Anyway, I have to report too that things are getting easier. It's easier to avoid junk food, to say no to cravings, to exercise in the morning. I rarely feel hungry anymore, I eat smaller portions. It's like my body has adapted so quickly and so well already.

ONE MORE THING! Today marks' my official one month mark! Woohoo! I'm down one month, and -20 lbs or so, and -15 inches. I'm feeling pretty good about my efforts at this point.

Starbucks...

Starbucks is my weakness. Luckily I've been able to avoid it pretty well lately. But I have discovered one drink that is only 90 calories! It's a mouthful, but when I'm tempted or when I meet my sister for coffee I now order a : tall non-fat Cinnamon Dolce latte with sugar free syrup and no whip. You can't beat a Starbucks drink with only 90 calories, zero fat, and it has 9 grams of protein!

193

It was such a nice surprise yesterday to discover my scale was skewed on the carpeting. Now, sooner than I had realized it could happen, I'm closer to 190 than 200.

Today my tummy looked and felt smaller in the mirror. I read yesterday on Oprah's website about an organ called your "omentum", which I had never heard of. I guess it's this fat storing organ in your belly, and it's the most important place to keep healthy. You can have fat on your thighs or arms and it doesn't harm you much, but if it's in your omentum, it's really damaging to your health. It made me think about my paunch. I always used to have a pretty flat stomach in high school, even when I was around 150, it wasn't very big. So anyway, I guess it's good that my tummy is shrinking, because that's supposed to be area that filters what goes to your heart and such.

You know when you see those people, particularly men, who aren't obese but they have a big beer gut? That's because only their omentum is collecting fat.

193... I guess that makes me 1 lbs away from being -20! Woohoo!

Goals & Plans

Sitting here thinking tonite about my progress already I am really getting excited about my goals, and how attainable they now seem. So I've decided to write down a list of things I'm going to do/ be happy about when I reach my goal weight. I'm excited thinking about these, and if in the coming weeks I get discouraged, I can come back and read them and maybe get a little motivation from them.

1. I'm going to buy a bikini. And actually wear it. In front of people. Even if I do have a little cellulite. I'll be proud of my figure because I worked so hard for it.
   
2. I'm going to wear lingerie for my husband without shame. For the first time ever.
3. I'm not going to be scared of going out in public and seeing someone I used to know before I gained all this weight. In fact, I'll probably look forward to it.
   
4. I'm going to burn my "fat jeans".
5. I'm going to feel 100% comfortable in shorts and tank tops again.
6. I'm going to go jogging around my neighborhood, for all to see.
7. I'm going to go to my doctor's office to get a check up... being about 50 lbs lighter than the last time she saw me. And I'll tell her just how healthy I am now.
   
8. I'm going to get hit on again. Maybe not every day, but I will. It used to happen fairly often. I'll probably pretend like I don't like the attention... ;)
   
9. I'm looking forward to not getting out of breath on a simple flight of stairs.
10. I won't make my husband leave the room when I'm changing anymore.
11. I'll feel much more comfortable with the thought of a surprise pregnancy, because I won't be scared of being nine months pregnant and almost three hundred pounds.
12. I'm going to get a new driver's license. This time without my double chin and not lying about my weight. I'll never be ashamed to show a waiter my ID again.
    
13. I'm going to pride myself on taking care of my body. I kinda already do...
14. I'm going to love looking at the "fat" pictures of myself that I hate seeing now. Because instead of it being a reminder of where I am, it will be a reminder of how far I've come.
15. I'll wear clothes that hug my curves, instead of clothes a size too big to try and hide them.
16. I'm going to let my husband carry me to bed. Just once.
17. I'm going to let, no encourage, my husband to put his hand on my tummy.
    
18. I'm going to believe them, for the first time in my life, when people say "You're not fat."
19. I won't be embarrassed of a few spider veins on my legs, or a little cellulite. They don't make you look fat, I've finally realized. Being fat makes you look fat.
20. I'm going to open the bottom drawer to my dresser, and wear my favorite clothes again.

That felt good to write.

195/200

BMI approximately 35

The title of this post might at first seem a little strange. No, I haven't lost 6 lbs since yesterday. But I kinda have...

I got a lovely little surprise this morning when I weighed in. I went and weighed myself, and I came in right at 200 lbs. This is great! 1 lbs lighter than yesterday. But then I remembered something my husband had told me the other day. He had told me that the scale said he was 5 lbs lighter when he weighed himself on a hard flat surface rather than our plush carpeting. So for kicks I took my scale downstairs to our hardwood floors and weighed myself there. Sure enough, I was at 195! This is great news. Of course, it doesn't mean I lost another 5 lbs, but it does mean that all along I was 5 lbs lighter than I'd thought. PLUS, it means I've achieved my first goal: to get below 200. I guess I had achieved it without even knowing it...

So I'm still at -17 lbs. But I'm already so uplifted by being under 200. Plus the fact that really I only have another 60 lbs or so to go until I'm at my goal. I've already done a third of that. Three more times, and I'm at my final goal weight! This is so exciting. I'm really starting to get excited for myself. The fact that I'm already almost down 20 lbs, and I'm already about 1/4 of the way through my weight loss is really starting to make me so happy.

I saw my parents on Saturday night. We went out to eat, and my mom had mentioned to me discreetly that I looked a little thinner (again). When I talked to her the next day she said that later at home my dad had said that I looked a little thinner (he didn't know I've been trying). It's nice to hear that partly because my dad isn't the most observant- or at least doesn't always mention things. Plus, he didn't know I was trying to lose weight (thus, he wasn't looking hard for a sign of weight loss and maybe forcing himself to see something that wasn't there.)

It's nice to hear. So far my parents are the only ones to say anything. My husband has hinted at it a couple times, but he's careful what he says around me ;)

I'm so excited!