I woke up with a headache about 40 minutes ago and I really don't feel like exercising. I have to though, I want to get below 200 ASAP.
Now, I'm not the type of person who would yell at my husband for eating what he wants in front of me. Just because I'm dieting doesn't mean he has to. But last night he came home from the store with two chocolate bars. You'll remember I'm PMSing? I was annoyed yes, but I went about my night eating healthily. Then, after dinner he sat there and ate it in front of me. I'm a PMSing female trying to lose weight, could you be a little more merciful?! Then he notices my glaring at him and he says, "Just take a little bite" and waves it in my face. Okay! So I can't get mad at you for eating what you want but COULD YOU PLEASE NOT WAVE THAT CHOCOLATE IN MY PREMENSTRUAL THINNER FACE?!?! UGH!
Another time of the month would be fine. Honestly. Luckily, I didn't take a bite. Does he not understand that if I took one bite, I'd have to finish the rest? Men! Screw his perfect metabolism...
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
207- again
That time of month has hit and it's hitting me really hard. PMS. It's even worse than my actual period. I've gotten bloated, my breasts are sore, and I'm having wild cravings. Cravings that, a month ago, I would have satisfied.
My weight is a little higher again. Should I attribute that to Sunday's eating? Or perhaps it's just one of the normal fluctuations with losing weight? Most likely, I think, it's from PMS. Or maybe a combination of all of that. Regardless, it's only 207, not 217.
Yesterday I woke up late and skipped exercising. I felt guilty the rest of the day for it. Today I exercise and ate well, but I am thinking about everything from cheesecake to bacon cheeseburgers. Oh my gosh those words are hard to write. I'm embarrassed to say, my mouth literally watered just typing that.
Oh well, I'm going to suppress my cravings and truck forward to Saturday. Saturday I'll have breakfast with my husband at Denny's (I know, but I'm craving it) before work. Probably satiate my bacon cheeseburger (swallow) craving at lunch (and I'll probably feel sick because of it later, which has happened the last two "okay days") and then our company party is that night. I'm going to eat what I want and drink rum and cokes and think nothing of it. Until Sunday morning, that is, when I'll be exercising and scarfing down yogurt and veggies rather than cheeseburgers.
It's crazy how attached to food we get. I comfort myself with food. I usually indulge in the same foods I ate as a child: Spaghetti Os, chocolate milk, mac & cheese. When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm depressed, I eat. When I'm out having fun with friends and family, I'm usually eating. This change so far has forced me to find other ways to get my kicks. Sex is one of them, I think ;) . This is hard. I have my good days and my bad days. Today is a bad day. Not because I've messed up, but because all day I've been tempted to.
But it's worth it. Right? Yes. It's worth it... I hope.
My weight is a little higher again. Should I attribute that to Sunday's eating? Or perhaps it's just one of the normal fluctuations with losing weight? Most likely, I think, it's from PMS. Or maybe a combination of all of that. Regardless, it's only 207, not 217.
Yesterday I woke up late and skipped exercising. I felt guilty the rest of the day for it. Today I exercise and ate well, but I am thinking about everything from cheesecake to bacon cheeseburgers. Oh my gosh those words are hard to write. I'm embarrassed to say, my mouth literally watered just typing that.
Oh well, I'm going to suppress my cravings and truck forward to Saturday. Saturday I'll have breakfast with my husband at Denny's (I know, but I'm craving it) before work. Probably satiate my bacon cheeseburger (swallow) craving at lunch (and I'll probably feel sick because of it later, which has happened the last two "okay days") and then our company party is that night. I'm going to eat what I want and drink rum and cokes and think nothing of it. Until Sunday morning, that is, when I'll be exercising and scarfing down yogurt and veggies rather than cheeseburgers.
It's crazy how attached to food we get. I comfort myself with food. I usually indulge in the same foods I ate as a child: Spaghetti Os, chocolate milk, mac & cheese. When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm depressed, I eat. When I'm out having fun with friends and family, I'm usually eating. This change so far has forced me to find other ways to get my kicks. Sex is one of them, I think ;) . This is hard. I have my good days and my bad days. Today is a bad day. Not because I've messed up, but because all day I've been tempted to.
But it's worth it. Right? Yes. It's worth it... I hope.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
205
Woohoo! Another 2 lbs! That puts me at -12 lbs in 12 days.
Today is my "okay day" again, and I'm a little nervous. But last week didn't harm me at all so... I'll go ahead with it.
Yesterday I went over to my parents and saw my mom for the first time since I started this. She said right away that I looked thinner in my face. I was flattered but I also thought, well mom I haven't lost that much yet and you're probably just trying to find some difference. But she swore to me that I did. Later, my co-worker said the same thing when I told her I'd lost about ten pounds that week she said, "Yeah, you do kinda look thinner on your upper body."
Well, now I'm looking forward to what they'll say when I'm -20, -30, -40! One of the best parts about losing weight- I've found in the past and now- is when people start to notice and say, "You look great!"
I also have to admit, yesterday I began feeling a little discouraged actually. It's hard to describe the feeling but I started getting a little overwhelmed by how much I have to lose, and scared that the next 60-70 lbs won't come off as fast and I'll get sick of this and stop. As much joy as I've had already with losing so much so far, and my mom saying she's noticed, well it also weighs (no pun intended) on you a lot. Losing weight is a daunting task no matter how great it's going. It's why so many people in this country are obese. Losing weight and dieting is almost scary and risky. What if I just balloon back up after losing it all? What if I get pregnant next year and never lose the baby weight? There's all these what if's. But it's also made me consider how serious I am about this. When I'm back down to my goal weight, I can't just go back to my old lifestyle. I have to be a healthier person for good this time.
My plan is, to keep exercising. And yes, I'll eat the things I want. I'll eat cake at birthday parties. I'll have pancakes for breakfast sometimes. But I won't eat junk at every meal or close to it and I will exercise regularly. I just have to. I've realized in life: I'm just not the type of person who can stay thin easily. I have a body type that forces me to work at it.
Today is my "okay day" again, and I'm a little nervous. But last week didn't harm me at all so... I'll go ahead with it.
Yesterday I went over to my parents and saw my mom for the first time since I started this. She said right away that I looked thinner in my face. I was flattered but I also thought, well mom I haven't lost that much yet and you're probably just trying to find some difference. But she swore to me that I did. Later, my co-worker said the same thing when I told her I'd lost about ten pounds that week she said, "Yeah, you do kinda look thinner on your upper body."
Well, now I'm looking forward to what they'll say when I'm -20, -30, -40! One of the best parts about losing weight- I've found in the past and now- is when people start to notice and say, "You look great!"
I also have to admit, yesterday I began feeling a little discouraged actually. It's hard to describe the feeling but I started getting a little overwhelmed by how much I have to lose, and scared that the next 60-70 lbs won't come off as fast and I'll get sick of this and stop. As much joy as I've had already with losing so much so far, and my mom saying she's noticed, well it also weighs (no pun intended) on you a lot. Losing weight is a daunting task no matter how great it's going. It's why so many people in this country are obese. Losing weight and dieting is almost scary and risky. What if I just balloon back up after losing it all? What if I get pregnant next year and never lose the baby weight? There's all these what if's. But it's also made me consider how serious I am about this. When I'm back down to my goal weight, I can't just go back to my old lifestyle. I have to be a healthier person for good this time.
My plan is, to keep exercising. And yes, I'll eat the things I want. I'll eat cake at birthday parties. I'll have pancakes for breakfast sometimes. But I won't eat junk at every meal or close to it and I will exercise regularly. I just have to. I've realized in life: I'm just not the type of person who can stay thin easily. I have a body type that forces me to work at it.
Friday, January 26, 2007
207
In one week and three days I've officially lost 10 lbs! Again, I'm sure some of this was water weight, but nonetheless, it was weight. I've been really pretty good the last few days with eating well. On Sunday I ate whatever I wanted, and I have to say, it didn't feel so good. We had Wendy's for lunch and went to the Olive Garden for dinner. I got diarrhea after dinner (which hasn't happened at all since I started this change except for that night) and I also noticed I couldn't fit as much food in my stomach! That's a good thing.
We watched a movie that night and I had gotten a large Symphony chocolate bar at the store. It grossed me out eating it, I couldn't finish it. Couldn't finish a chocolate bar? This is really new for me! It was as if my body had already adjusted to my better eating styles, and was loving it!
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday: I stayed at the same weight of 210. It was kinda frustrating to not see any advancements, but it also made me want to try harder. Alas, when I weighed myself this morning I was 207! It kinda teetered between 210- 204 but when I got of the scale, reset the dial, and pushed on it several times to make sure the red line ended at zero every time, then I weighed myself again, and a few times. Yep: 207.
That scale worries me...
But to think, just barely over a week ago I was 217 (!), and now, I'm getting so close to being under 200, I can't weight. Haha...wait.
I'm really thankful that I'm pushing myself so hard to do this again. So help me, I will never weight more than 210 again! And hopefully soon I can say 200, and then 180, and then 160 (unless it's because I'm preggers, but hopefully even then I won't get too far above 160).
We watched a movie that night and I had gotten a large Symphony chocolate bar at the store. It grossed me out eating it, I couldn't finish it. Couldn't finish a chocolate bar? This is really new for me! It was as if my body had already adjusted to my better eating styles, and was loving it!
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday: I stayed at the same weight of 210. It was kinda frustrating to not see any advancements, but it also made me want to try harder. Alas, when I weighed myself this morning I was 207! It kinda teetered between 210- 204 but when I got of the scale, reset the dial, and pushed on it several times to make sure the red line ended at zero every time, then I weighed myself again, and a few times. Yep: 207.
That scale worries me...
But to think, just barely over a week ago I was 217 (!), and now, I'm getting so close to being under 200, I can't weight. Haha...wait.
I'm really thankful that I'm pushing myself so hard to do this again. So help me, I will never weight more than 210 again! And hopefully soon I can say 200, and then 180, and then 160 (unless it's because I'm preggers, but hopefully even then I won't get too far above 160).
Sunday, January 21, 2007
210, again
Two days later, I'm still at 210. But thats actually okay with me. Yesterday when I weighed myself in the morning I was at 213. I was kinda bummed, but that's still 4 lbs lost in 4 days, which is great. Today, I was back to 210 (I think you can just fluctuate so much), which would still be 7 lbs lost in 5 days. That's really good! If I keep up at that pace, it will only take 11 weeks or so to lose as much as I want to. However, I know it probably won't go that fast. But it's helping me keep going because I see progress already, and I can also see that this isn't going to take me 2 years. By summertime, I'll be back to my old self again. I can't wait! This time, I'm NOT giving up.
Today is my "okay day" where I'll eat what I want. I'm a little nervous, to be honest, but I'm going to try it and then weigh myself again on Tuesday after exercising and eating right on Monday and seeing if it had any negative effect. The book I read a few years ago called "Body for Life" recommended doing this, and said it can actually help because you lose weight so quickly, your body might think it's starving and hold onto that fat more viciously. Eating poorly once a week won't hurt, and it should remind your body it's not starving. I don't know if that's true, but for my sanity also I'm willing to try it!
I have to admit, I'm also worried about losing control. Will I be able to go back Monday morning to eating right again? Hopefully I can just look forward to next week (my work is having a party downtown) "okay day".
So, I've reached the end of week one (well, kinda because I wish I'd started this on Monday rather than Tuesday but at least I started it at all) and I'm 7 lbs lighter (maybe it's just water weight, who knows?) and 1 week closer towards my goal. I plan to be even stricter next week. This week I allowed myself dinners that I probably shouldn't have for the time being (starchy things). I'll stock up on groceries today for good food like chicken breasts, more eggs, fish, fruit, yogurt; and I'll avoid things like spaghetti and meatballs this week.
Today is my "okay day" where I'll eat what I want. I'm a little nervous, to be honest, but I'm going to try it and then weigh myself again on Tuesday after exercising and eating right on Monday and seeing if it had any negative effect. The book I read a few years ago called "Body for Life" recommended doing this, and said it can actually help because you lose weight so quickly, your body might think it's starving and hold onto that fat more viciously. Eating poorly once a week won't hurt, and it should remind your body it's not starving. I don't know if that's true, but for my sanity also I'm willing to try it!
I have to admit, I'm also worried about losing control. Will I be able to go back Monday morning to eating right again? Hopefully I can just look forward to next week (my work is having a party downtown) "okay day".
So, I've reached the end of week one (well, kinda because I wish I'd started this on Monday rather than Tuesday but at least I started it at all) and I'm 7 lbs lighter (maybe it's just water weight, who knows?) and 1 week closer towards my goal. I plan to be even stricter next week. This week I allowed myself dinners that I probably shouldn't have for the time being (starchy things). I'll stock up on groceries today for good food like chicken breasts, more eggs, fish, fruit, yogurt; and I'll avoid things like spaghetti and meatballs this week.
Friday, January 19, 2007
210
Another 2 lbs! This is crazy. I almost feel guilty for losing so much so fast. Everyone says it's not healthy to lose more than, what is it, like 2 lbs a week?! Well, it's Friday now, and since Tuesday I've lost 7. But I know I'm being healthy! I exercise, drink only water, and eat about 5-6 times a day, just really healthy meals.
To be honest, I've been eating more fatty dinners than I'd really like to (like Tuesday night was spaghetti with meatballs).
I guess I'm not complaining, it's just wierd. I never thought it would go this fast. I thought the first 7 lbs would take about...oh, 2 1/2 weeks or so.
Well, I just woke up, peed, and weighed myself. Now I'm going to go use the treadmill and get ready for work. This is getting easier, I have to say, since I've already seen so much weight loss.
To be honest, I've been eating more fatty dinners than I'd really like to (like Tuesday night was spaghetti with meatballs).
I guess I'm not complaining, it's just wierd. I never thought it would go this fast. I thought the first 7 lbs would take about...oh, 2 1/2 weeks or so.
Well, I just woke up, peed, and weighed myself. Now I'm going to go use the treadmill and get ready for work. This is getting easier, I have to say, since I've already seen so much weight loss.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
212
Um... so I weighed myself this morning, and I was another 2 lbs. lighter. This is really strange. I honestly didn't think I'd lose 5 lbs. in only 2 days but... I have. Maybe it's just water weight?
Thing is, I weigh myself at the same time the past three mornings, in the same clothes, and before I've eaten. I also make sure the hand on my scale is lined up right. So- this is encouraging, but also surprising.
I've also found so far that my metabolism must be really jacked up. It makes sense, because typically lately I've been skipping breakfast, eating a lot of junky snacks during the day and around lunchtime, getting Starbucks at some point in the day, and eating a huge dinner. So now, I'm eating breakfast in the morning after exercising, having one or two snacks before lunch (usually a yogurt, applesauce, or fruit), eating a small lunch (like a Lean Gourmet), another snack a couple hours later, and finally dinner (I am trying to keep this down to one protein serving, and one carb serving).
Thing is, I keep getting hungry like 20-30 minutes after eating. And I've been eating dinners that are still larger than I'd like, but I have been going to bed with hunger pangs the last couple nights. So, I believe that my metabolism has gotten really out of whack due to my poor eating habits. Hopefully, as my body adjusts it will get easier.
I have a confession: I skipped exercising this morning. I stayed up too late last night and couldn't bring myself to do it this morning. In the past, I'd just skip being good for the day and eat what I want. But today I was really good. At one point, after lunch I was sooo hungry that I felt sick and had too many appointments to have a snack so I snuck a couple pieces of my co-worker's popcorn. But seriously, like 5 -10 pieces of popcorn, how bad can that be?
Nonetheless, I feel guilty for the popcorn and not exercising and I'm going to make myself be better the next couple days. Sunday will be my "ok day" where I will eat what I please. I've been craving the Olive Garden's Chocolate Lasagna for about a week now so maybe I'll force my husband to take me to my favorite/his most hated restaurant.
I never thought I'd be two days into this and already reporting a 5 lbs loss. Yay me.
Thing is, I weigh myself at the same time the past three mornings, in the same clothes, and before I've eaten. I also make sure the hand on my scale is lined up right. So- this is encouraging, but also surprising.
I've also found so far that my metabolism must be really jacked up. It makes sense, because typically lately I've been skipping breakfast, eating a lot of junky snacks during the day and around lunchtime, getting Starbucks at some point in the day, and eating a huge dinner. So now, I'm eating breakfast in the morning after exercising, having one or two snacks before lunch (usually a yogurt, applesauce, or fruit), eating a small lunch (like a Lean Gourmet), another snack a couple hours later, and finally dinner (I am trying to keep this down to one protein serving, and one carb serving).
Thing is, I keep getting hungry like 20-30 minutes after eating. And I've been eating dinners that are still larger than I'd like, but I have been going to bed with hunger pangs the last couple nights. So, I believe that my metabolism has gotten really out of whack due to my poor eating habits. Hopefully, as my body adjusts it will get easier.
I have a confession: I skipped exercising this morning. I stayed up too late last night and couldn't bring myself to do it this morning. In the past, I'd just skip being good for the day and eat what I want. But today I was really good. At one point, after lunch I was sooo hungry that I felt sick and had too many appointments to have a snack so I snuck a couple pieces of my co-worker's popcorn. But seriously, like 5 -10 pieces of popcorn, how bad can that be?
Nonetheless, I feel guilty for the popcorn and not exercising and I'm going to make myself be better the next couple days. Sunday will be my "ok day" where I will eat what I please. I've been craving the Olive Garden's Chocolate Lasagna for about a week now so maybe I'll force my husband to take me to my favorite/his most hated restaurant.
I never thought I'd be two days into this and already reporting a 5 lbs loss. Yay me.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
215
Today I weighed myself and I was a little lighter, 215. However, I don't consider this a weight loss because my weight can fluctuate depending on what time of day it is and how much I've eaten thus far. I exercised this morning on an empty stomach. I actually wasn't hungry this morning at all. But I just woke up, did about 20 minutes on the treadmill, and in about half an hour I'll eat some eggs and yogurt or something.
Yesterday was actually Day 1. It went pretty well, and uneventful. I got up, exercised for 20 minutes on the treadmill (right now I'm walking and running- alternating). I didn't have much time before I had to go to work so I ate right after exercising. I made scrambled eggs and ate a fat free yogurt and a glass of water.
At work I ate a banana and applesauce for snacks. Lunch was a Lean Gourmet (because they're so cheap and I don't have enough time to make anything). I drank only water. I was also tempted when my co-worker brought in home made desserts (why would she do that to us?)- creme brulee and chocolate cake because she was just "trying to get rid of it because she'll never eat it." Never will I, but thanks for bringing that into my day... thats great. Oh well, if I get through this and am thing again the self control I'm learning will be good for me.
On the treadmill I keep a picture of me in my prom dress, it's kinda like a reminder of how far I've come, and how far I need to go.
I'm only going to measure myself once a week, so next Monday I'll probably post those again. Maybe I'll have made some progress, but this early on I'm not expecting any. The beginning is always the hardest part: doing all this work, and for the first week or two not really feeling like I'm getting anything out of it. Once I make it past those first rough spots, hopefully I'll have even more motivation.
Yesterday was actually Day 1. It went pretty well, and uneventful. I got up, exercised for 20 minutes on the treadmill (right now I'm walking and running- alternating). I didn't have much time before I had to go to work so I ate right after exercising. I made scrambled eggs and ate a fat free yogurt and a glass of water.
At work I ate a banana and applesauce for snacks. Lunch was a Lean Gourmet (because they're so cheap and I don't have enough time to make anything). I drank only water. I was also tempted when my co-worker brought in home made desserts (why would she do that to us?)- creme brulee and chocolate cake because she was just "trying to get rid of it because she'll never eat it." Never will I, but thanks for bringing that into my day... thats great. Oh well, if I get through this and am thing again the self control I'm learning will be good for me.
On the treadmill I keep a picture of me in my prom dress, it's kinda like a reminder of how far I've come, and how far I need to go.
I'm only going to measure myself once a week, so next Monday I'll probably post those again. Maybe I'll have made some progress, but this early on I'm not expecting any. The beginning is always the hardest part: doing all this work, and for the first week or two not really feeling like I'm getting anything out of it. Once I make it past those first rough spots, hopefully I'll have even more motivation.
Monday, January 15, 2007
217- Before
* On February 13th I actually discovered that weighing myself on the carpet was skewing results. Thus, I actually started my blogging at 212 lbs, unbeknown to me!
My journey begins at 217 lbs. Size XL shirt and size 16 pants. BMI approximately 38
My goal: 130-135.
Here are my measurements:
Left arm (upper): 16 1/4
Right arm (upper): 16 1/2
Bust: 43
Waist: 43 1/2
Hips: 46
Chin (from crown to under the jaw): 23
Chest (under breasts): 39 1/2
Right thigh: 30
Left Thigh 30 1/2
Right Calve: 18 1/4
Left Calve: 18 1/2
My plan: exercise every morning, alternate on the treadmill and weights/resistance. Eat several small meals a day, drink only water. My meals will consist of simple proteins and carbs and not a whole lot else. For example, in the morning I might have 2-3 eggs and a fat free yogurt or apple. Once a week I'll allow myself to go one day without worrying what I eat. I will do this plan for at least 12 weeks, and see where I end up. Hopefully, I'll be a much happier person when this is all over and done with. Also, I will keep myself healthy.
The end of my 12 week limit is April 10th. I have to make it to that date. Wish me luck.
My journey begins at 217 lbs. Size XL shirt and size 16 pants. BMI approximately 38
My goal: 130-135.
Here are my measurements:
Left arm (upper): 16 1/4
Right arm (upper): 16 1/2
Bust: 43
Waist: 43 1/2
Hips: 46
Chin (from crown to under the jaw): 23
Chest (under breasts): 39 1/2
Right thigh: 30
Left Thigh 30 1/2
Right Calve: 18 1/4
Left Calve: 18 1/2
My plan: exercise every morning, alternate on the treadmill and weights/resistance. Eat several small meals a day, drink only water. My meals will consist of simple proteins and carbs and not a whole lot else. For example, in the morning I might have 2-3 eggs and a fat free yogurt or apple. Once a week I'll allow myself to go one day without worrying what I eat. I will do this plan for at least 12 weeks, and see where I end up. Hopefully, I'll be a much happier person when this is all over and done with. Also, I will keep myself healthy.
The end of my 12 week limit is April 10th. I have to make it to that date. Wish me luck.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
