It's July...

It's been a LONG time since I've blogged. Which means: it's been a long time since I've lost weight. Oops. Well, set backs happen.

Easter happens. April came around and I went off my plan for a week to enjoy the festivities. Well a week turned into a little longer. Since then I've been eating well on and off. But that's ok. I'm still down some. As of today my weight is 195. I'm still down since when I started, and I'm picking the pieces back up again.

I'm in a wedding this September, which means I have to wear a bridesmaid dress and it's sleeveless. Well, I'm SO self conscious of my arms. But I'm not looking at this negatively, instead it's motivation!

So the past week I've been eating really well. Today I exercised. Here I am again. Hopefully by the end of the year I'll be back down to where I want to be.

HOWEVER, I'll say this right now, the wedding is in only 10 weeks! I really would like to lose a lot of weight in the next 10 weeks. Basically, I want to see how much I'm capable of. So here I go, and more aggressively than ever- you might say. Not that I'm going to resort to sticking my finger down my throat, mind you. But I am going to exercise harder, longer, and I'm adding some weight lifting. Also, my diet will be more strict than ever. In with the tuna and dressing-less salads. In with the water. In with the carrot sticks. Out with the milk, out with the breads, out with the starchy potatoes. You're now looking at a whole grain only kinda girl.

I'm relaxed, I'm not pushing myself harder then I should, just harder than I ever have. I need to do this for myself, let alone the wedding.

Hopefully I'll be posting again soon...


Here are some things I've discovered since I last posted, things that can't hurt to bad, and actually kinda help:

Enviga- supposedly a "negative calorie" drink (digesting it makes you burn more calories than it contains). This isn't why I drink it, however, it's fruity carbonated style helps me avoid one of my worst enemies: SODA.

Chocolate Rice Cakes- at 50 calories a pop you can't have any guilt over these. The chocolate or caramel flavors have helped me wean myself off sweets. (Who said you could just go cold turkey and have success? I'm not going to try and be a hero)

Low Fat Chocolate Whipped Yogurt- okay, so it's not that great compared to an apple, but when I'm PMSing and I really need something chocolaty, this helps me out a lot. The Kroger brand has only about 2.5 grams of fat and a lot of the good stuff like protein. So since I can't have my pudding...

Blue Bunny Fudgesicles- one thing that I should still stay away from, even though it's not that bad for you. They're fat free and around 60 calories for each pop. It's not the worst way to sin.

186

I'm bloated and crampy. This past week has been really really really bad for me. On Sunday we spent the whole day putting in hardwood floors at my parents. From like 9am- 10pm. The next morning I was so sore. The next morning was also the day I was supposed to go back on track after my "okay day". Well, I wasn't able to exercise because I hurt so much. And I was sore until Thursday. When I don't exercise in the morning I lose my self control. So pretty much I went off my plan from Sunday to Wednesday. I'm really mad at myself. But I'm going to keep going.

On Tuesday, for the first time, two of my coworkers finally commented on my weight loss. They both said at separate times that I looked thinner. That was great to hear.

I'm also -26 lbs at this point, which is good. I bet if I hadn't messed up to much in February I'd be even further along. But -26 lbs in a month and a half is pretty darn good too.

At work my wedding ring gets really lose. I'm going to have to have it resized soon. I'm around where I was at my wedding now that I'm in the 180's.

Easter is a goal to me. I want to get as far as I can before Easter, so I can wear a pretty dress. Well, Easter is 34 days away. If I work as hard as I did in January when I first started this, I think I can get pretty far. Let's see how well I can do...

191

Almost into the 180s! My wedding ring is noticeably bigger on me. There was a point where I struggled to get it off. As I'm nearing my weight that I was at my wedding, I'm sure that fairly soon I'll have to get it resized.

I measured myself when I got home today because I changed in front of the mirror, and for the first real time I could really tell I was a little thinner. It's harder to tell on yourself, I think.

I won't list all the measurements here because I don't have much time, but I will say, that all over my body so far I've lost around 15 inches total! My hips probably lost the most, at -3 inches! Whoa.

Anyway, I have to report too that things are getting easier. It's easier to avoid junk food, to say no to cravings, to exercise in the morning. I rarely feel hungry anymore, I eat smaller portions. It's like my body has adapted so quickly and so well already.

ONE MORE THING! Today marks' my official one month mark! Woohoo! I'm down one month, and -20 lbs or so, and -15 inches. I'm feeling pretty good about my efforts at this point.

Starbucks...

Starbucks is my weakness. Luckily I've been able to avoid it pretty well lately. But I have discovered one drink that is only 90 calories! It's a mouthful, but when I'm tempted or when I meet my sister for coffee I now order a : tall non-fat Cinnamon Dolce latte with sugar free syrup and no whip. You can't beat a Starbucks drink with only 90 calories, zero fat, and it has 9 grams of protein!

193

It was such a nice surprise yesterday to discover my scale was skewed on the carpeting. Now, sooner than I had realized it could happen, I'm closer to 190 than 200.

Today my tummy looked and felt smaller in the mirror. I read yesterday on Oprah's website about an organ called your "omentum", which I had never heard of. I guess it's this fat storing organ in your belly, and it's the most important place to keep healthy. You can have fat on your thighs or arms and it doesn't harm you much, but if it's in your omentum, it's really damaging to your health. It made me think about my paunch. I always used to have a pretty flat stomach in high school, even when I was around 150, it wasn't very big. So anyway, I guess it's good that my tummy is shrinking, because that's supposed to be area that filters what goes to your heart and such.

You know when you see those people, particularly men, who aren't obese but they have a big beer gut? That's because only their omentum is collecting fat.

193... I guess that makes me 1 lbs away from being -20! Woohoo!

Goals & Plans

Sitting here thinking tonite about my progress already I am really getting excited about my goals, and how attainable they now seem. So I've decided to write down a list of things I'm going to do/ be happy about when I reach my goal weight. I'm excited thinking about these, and if in the coming weeks I get discouraged, I can come back and read them and maybe get a little motivation from them.

1. I'm going to buy a bikini. And actually wear it. In front of people. Even if I do have a little cellulite. I'll be proud of my figure because I worked so hard for it.
   
2. I'm going to wear lingerie for my husband without shame. For the first time ever.
3. I'm not going to be scared of going out in public and seeing someone I used to know before I gained all this weight. In fact, I'll probably look forward to it.
   
4. I'm going to burn my "fat jeans".
5. I'm going to feel 100% comfortable in shorts and tank tops again.
6. I'm going to go jogging around my neighborhood, for all to see.
7. I'm going to go to my doctor's office to get a check up... being about 50 lbs lighter than the last time she saw me. And I'll tell her just how healthy I am now.
   
8. I'm going to get hit on again. Maybe not every day, but I will. It used to happen fairly often. I'll probably pretend like I don't like the attention... ;)
   
9. I'm looking forward to not getting out of breath on a simple flight of stairs.
10. I won't make my husband leave the room when I'm changing anymore.
11. I'll feel much more comfortable with the thought of a surprise pregnancy, because I won't be scared of being nine months pregnant and almost three hundred pounds.
12. I'm going to get a new driver's license. This time without my double chin and not lying about my weight. I'll never be ashamed to show a waiter my ID again.
    
13. I'm going to pride myself on taking care of my body. I kinda already do...
14. I'm going to love looking at the "fat" pictures of myself that I hate seeing now. Because instead of it being a reminder of where I am, it will be a reminder of how far I've come.
15. I'll wear clothes that hug my curves, instead of clothes a size too big to try and hide them.
16. I'm going to let my husband carry me to bed. Just once.
17. I'm going to let, no encourage, my husband to put his hand on my tummy.
    
18. I'm going to believe them, for the first time in my life, when people say "You're not fat."
19. I won't be embarrassed of a few spider veins on my legs, or a little cellulite. They don't make you look fat, I've finally realized. Being fat makes you look fat.
20. I'm going to open the bottom drawer to my dresser, and wear my favorite clothes again.

That felt good to write.

195/200

BMI approximately 35

The title of this post might at first seem a little strange. No, I haven't lost 6 lbs since yesterday. But I kinda have...

I got a lovely little surprise this morning when I weighed in. I went and weighed myself, and I came in right at 200 lbs. This is great! 1 lbs lighter than yesterday. But then I remembered something my husband had told me the other day. He had told me that the scale said he was 5 lbs lighter when he weighed himself on a hard flat surface rather than our plush carpeting. So for kicks I took my scale downstairs to our hardwood floors and weighed myself there. Sure enough, I was at 195! This is great news. Of course, it doesn't mean I lost another 5 lbs, but it does mean that all along I was 5 lbs lighter than I'd thought. PLUS, it means I've achieved my first goal: to get below 200. I guess I had achieved it without even knowing it...

So I'm still at -17 lbs. But I'm already so uplifted by being under 200. Plus the fact that really I only have another 60 lbs or so to go until I'm at my goal. I've already done a third of that. Three more times, and I'm at my final goal weight! This is so exciting. I'm really starting to get excited for myself. The fact that I'm already almost down 20 lbs, and I'm already about 1/4 of the way through my weight loss is really starting to make me so happy.

I saw my parents on Saturday night. We went out to eat, and my mom had mentioned to me discreetly that I looked a little thinner (again). When I talked to her the next day she said that later at home my dad had said that I looked a little thinner (he didn't know I've been trying). It's nice to hear that partly because my dad isn't the most observant- or at least doesn't always mention things. Plus, he didn't know I was trying to lose weight (thus, he wasn't looking hard for a sign of weight loss and maybe forcing himself to see something that wasn't there.)

It's nice to hear. So far my parents are the only ones to say anything. My husband has hinted at it a couple times, but he's careful what he says around me ;)

I'm so excited!

201

I'm finally not stuck at 205 anymore. Up until two days ago I still was. Yesterday I weighed in at about 203. This morning I hit 201.

This week was really bad. I plan to recover fully with this upcoming week, and be really strict.

Last Saturday was my work's party, and I ate whatever I wanted that day (including McDonalds for lunch and about 7 cosmopolitans at the party- yikes!) Sunday rolled around and it was the Superbowl party with my family. Not that I'm a football person, but we went anyway, and there was lots of bad food which I ate because, hell I was at a party. I shouldn't have done this. I should have stuck to veggies and water, but I didn't. Well, after two days of eating poorly, Monday rolled around and I didn't eat badly, but not very well either. I had to babysit my niece in the morning and I skipped exercising, went to Starbucks (all though I did get a non-fat drink, well, that wasn't much better). So you see, my week just started off bad. I almost lost my control and stopped this program. Midweek, I was feeling so guilty about my mistakes and the fact that for the 10th (or so) day in a row I was at 205 and it was my own darned problem- well, it almost made me quit all together. I started to feel helpless. But I slapped myself in the face emotionally and said, "Stop it. You are going to be so disgusted and disappointed in yourself if you let this become just another fruitless attempt at losing weight! You can do this, keep going, you've already lost 12 lbs!" So I did. And luckily, by the end of the week, I was seeing results again already.

But I do have something happy to tell to. First, well, I'm down to 201 despite my cheating earlier on this week. At lunch on Friday my work had a meeting and ordered Illegal Pete's (my favorite!) Those bitches. Plus, my work was paying for it, and I'd have to sit there in the meeting watching everyone else eat it.I had already brought my Healthy Choice microwave meal with only 5 grams of fat and like 250 calories, and I was tempted to order lunch with them. Really tempted. A couple of my co-workers tried to talk me into it. But then I remembered what I heard, those huge burritos can be like 900 calories. And I had exercised that morning, and after this kind of week, well I'll be damned if I'm going to let my guilty co-workers ruin it for me. So I refused, and I suffered through the smells of that yummy queso and steak and queso steak nachos and I ate my meal with water. And you know what? I felt really good about myself. I had the power to say no. That felt a lot better than it would have if I had given in to my cravings. I thought that yummy food would make me happy and I was denying myself some happiness. But the opposite happened. I knew I would have felt guilty in the end. Instead I felt empowered.

205.... still?!

This morning I hit the same spot on the scale, only 205. It's a little frustrating to not see any progress all week. I weigh the same as I did last Sunday, yet I've been exercising and eating well all week. :(
Perhaps it is because of PMS? I hope so, because I don't expect to lose weight as quickly as I did the first two weeks, but to lose nothing at all during the third week is well, UGH!

I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I'm not doing anything wrong and my body is just being stubborn?

And now I'm even more worried about tomorrow. What if by not dieting and exercising tomorrow, I weight myself on Sunday and am back up to 207 or something? I'm just really frustrated right now, and irritable. It must be my PMS.

205, again

I woke up with a headache about 40 minutes ago and I really don't feel like exercising. I have to though, I want to get below 200 ASAP.

Now, I'm not the type of person who would yell at my husband for eating what he wants in front of me. Just because I'm dieting doesn't mean he has to. But last night he came home from the store with two chocolate bars. You'll remember I'm PMSing? I was annoyed yes, but I went about my night eating healthily. Then, after dinner he sat there and ate it in front of me. I'm a PMSing female trying to lose weight, could you be a little more merciful?! Then he notices my glaring at him and he says, "Just take a little bite" and waves it in my face. Okay! So I can't get mad at you for eating what you want but COULD YOU PLEASE NOT WAVE THAT CHOCOLATE IN MY PREMENSTRUAL THINNER FACE?!?! UGH!

Another time of the month would be fine. Honestly. Luckily, I didn't take a bite. Does he not understand that if I took one bite, I'd have to finish the rest? Men! Screw his perfect metabolism...

207- again

That time of month has hit and it's hitting me really hard. PMS. It's even worse than my actual period. I've gotten bloated, my breasts are sore, and I'm having wild cravings. Cravings that, a month ago, I would have satisfied.

My weight is a little higher again. Should I attribute that to Sunday's eating? Or perhaps it's just one of the normal fluctuations with losing weight? Most likely, I think, it's from PMS. Or maybe a combination of all of that. Regardless, it's only 207, not 217.

Yesterday I woke up late and skipped exercising. I felt guilty the rest of the day for it. Today I exercise and ate well, but I am thinking about everything from cheesecake to bacon cheeseburgers. Oh my gosh those words are hard to write. I'm embarrassed to say, my mouth literally watered just typing that.

Oh well, I'm going to suppress my cravings and truck forward to Saturday. Saturday I'll have breakfast with my husband at Denny's (I know, but I'm craving it) before work. Probably satiate my bacon cheeseburger (swallow) craving at lunch (and I'll probably feel sick because of it later, which has happened the last two "okay days") and then our company party is that night. I'm going to eat what I want and drink rum and cokes and think nothing of it. Until Sunday morning, that is, when I'll be exercising and scarfing down yogurt and veggies rather than cheeseburgers.

It's crazy how attached to food we get. I comfort myself with food. I usually indulge in the same foods I ate as a child: Spaghetti Os, chocolate milk, mac & cheese. When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm depressed, I eat. When I'm out having fun with friends and family, I'm usually eating. This change so far has forced me to find other ways to get my kicks. Sex is one of them, I think ;) . This is hard. I have my good days and my bad days. Today is a bad day. Not because I've messed up, but because all day I've been tempted to.

But it's worth it. Right? Yes. It's worth it... I hope.

205

Woohoo! Another 2 lbs! That puts me at -12 lbs in 12 days.

Today is my "okay day" again, and I'm a little nervous. But last week didn't harm me at all so... I'll go ahead with it.

Yesterday I went over to my parents and saw my mom for the first time since I started this. She said right away that I looked thinner in my face. I was flattered but I also thought, well mom I haven't lost that much yet and you're probably just trying to find some difference. But she swore to me that I did. Later, my co-worker said the same thing when I told her I'd lost about ten pounds that week she said, "Yeah, you do kinda look thinner on your upper body."

Well, now I'm looking forward to what they'll say when I'm -20, -30, -40! One of the best parts about losing weight- I've found in the past and now- is when people start to notice and say, "You look great!"

I also have to admit, yesterday I began feeling a little discouraged actually. It's hard to describe the feeling but I started getting a little overwhelmed by how much I have to lose, and scared that the next 60-70 lbs won't come off as fast and I'll get sick of this and stop. As much joy as I've had already with losing so much so far, and my mom saying she's noticed, well it also weighs (no pun intended) on you a lot. Losing weight is a daunting task no matter how great it's going. It's why so many people in this country are obese. Losing weight and dieting is almost scary and risky. What if I just balloon back up after losing it all? What if I get pregnant next year and never lose the baby weight? There's all these what if's. But it's also made me consider how serious I am about this. When I'm back down to my goal weight, I can't just go back to my old lifestyle. I have to be a healthier person for good this time.

My plan is, to keep exercising. And yes, I'll eat the things I want. I'll eat cake at birthday parties. I'll have pancakes for breakfast sometimes. But I won't eat junk at every meal or close to it and I will exercise regularly. I just have to. I've realized in life: I'm just not the type of person who can stay thin easily. I have a body type that forces me to work at it.

207

In one week and three days I've officially lost 10 lbs! Again, I'm sure some of this was water weight, but nonetheless, it was weight. I've been really pretty good the last few days with eating well. On Sunday I ate whatever I wanted, and I have to say, it didn't feel so good. We had Wendy's for lunch and went to the Olive Garden for dinner. I got diarrhea after dinner (which hasn't happened at all since I started this change except for that night) and I also noticed I couldn't fit as much food in my stomach! That's a good thing.

We watched a movie that night and I had gotten a large Symphony chocolate bar at the store. It grossed me out eating it, I couldn't finish it. Couldn't finish a chocolate bar? This is really new for me! It was as if my body had already adjusted to my better eating styles, and was loving it!

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday: I stayed at the same weight of 210. It was kinda frustrating to not see any advancements, but it also made me want to try harder. Alas, when I weighed myself this morning I was 207! It kinda teetered between 210- 204 but when I got of the scale, reset the dial, and pushed on it several times to make sure the red line ended at zero every time, then I weighed myself again, and a few times. Yep: 207.

That scale worries me...

But to think, just barely over a week ago I was 217 (!), and now, I'm getting so close to being under 200, I can't weight. Haha...wait.

I'm really thankful that I'm pushing myself so hard to do this again. So help me, I will never weight more than 210 again! And hopefully soon I can say 200, and then 180, and then 160 (unless it's because I'm preggers, but hopefully even then I won't get too far above 160).

210, again

Two days later, I'm still at 210. But thats actually okay with me. Yesterday when I weighed myself in the morning I was at 213. I was kinda bummed, but that's still 4 lbs lost in 4 days, which is great. Today, I was back to 210 (I think you can just fluctuate so much), which would still be 7 lbs lost in 5 days. That's really good! If I keep up at that pace, it will only take 11 weeks or so to lose as much as I want to. However, I know it probably won't go that fast. But it's helping me keep going because I see progress already, and I can also see that this isn't going to take me 2 years. By summertime, I'll be back to my old self again. I can't wait! This time, I'm NOT giving up.

Today is my "okay day" where I'll eat what I want. I'm a little nervous, to be honest, but I'm going to try it and then weigh myself again on Tuesday after exercising and eating right on Monday and seeing if it had any negative effect. The book I read a few years ago called "Body for Life" recommended doing this, and said it can actually help because you lose weight so quickly, your body might think it's starving and hold onto that fat more viciously. Eating poorly once a week won't hurt, and it should remind your body it's not starving. I don't know if that's true, but for my sanity also I'm willing to try it!

I have to admit, I'm also worried about losing control. Will I be able to go back Monday morning to eating right again? Hopefully I can just look forward to next week (my work is having a party downtown) "okay day".

So, I've reached the end of week one (well, kinda because I wish I'd started this on Monday rather than Tuesday but at least I started it at all) and I'm 7 lbs lighter (maybe it's just water weight, who knows?) and 1 week closer towards my goal. I plan to be even stricter next week. This week I allowed myself dinners that I probably shouldn't have for the time being (starchy things). I'll stock up on groceries today for good food like chicken breasts, more eggs, fish, fruit, yogurt; and I'll avoid things like spaghetti and meatballs this week.

210

Another 2 lbs! This is crazy. I almost feel guilty for losing so much so fast. Everyone says it's not healthy to lose more than, what is it, like 2 lbs a week?! Well, it's Friday now, and since Tuesday I've lost 7. But I know I'm being healthy! I exercise, drink only water, and eat about 5-6 times a day, just really healthy meals.

To be honest, I've been eating more fatty dinners than I'd really like to (like Tuesday night was spaghetti with meatballs).

I guess I'm not complaining, it's just wierd. I never thought it would go this fast. I thought the first 7 lbs would take about...oh, 2 1/2 weeks or so.

Well, I just woke up, peed, and weighed myself. Now I'm going to go use the treadmill and get ready for work. This is getting easier, I have to say, since I've already seen so much weight loss.

212

Um... so I weighed myself this morning, and I was another 2 lbs. lighter. This is really strange. I honestly didn't think I'd lose 5 lbs. in only 2 days but... I have. Maybe it's just water weight?

Thing is, I weigh myself at the same time the past three mornings, in the same clothes, and before I've eaten. I also make sure the hand on my scale is lined up right. So- this is encouraging, but also surprising.

I've also found so far that my metabolism must be really jacked up. It makes sense, because typically lately I've been skipping breakfast, eating a lot of junky snacks during the day and around lunchtime, getting Starbucks at some point in the day, and eating a huge dinner. So now, I'm eating breakfast in the morning after exercising, having one or two snacks before lunch (usually a yogurt, applesauce, or fruit), eating a small lunch (like a Lean Gourmet), another snack a couple hours later, and finally dinner (I am trying to keep this down to one protein serving, and one carb serving).

Thing is, I keep getting hungry like 20-30 minutes after eating. And I've been eating dinners that are still larger than I'd like, but I have been going to bed with hunger pangs the last couple nights. So, I believe that my metabolism has gotten really out of whack due to my poor eating habits. Hopefully, as my body adjusts it will get easier.

I have a confession: I skipped exercising this morning. I stayed up too late last night and couldn't bring myself to do it this morning. In the past, I'd just skip being good for the day and eat what I want. But today I was really good. At one point, after lunch I was sooo hungry that I felt sick and had too many appointments to have a snack so I snuck a couple pieces of my co-worker's popcorn. But seriously, like 5 -10 pieces of popcorn, how bad can that be?

Nonetheless, I feel guilty for the popcorn and not exercising and I'm going to make myself be better the next couple days. Sunday will be my "ok day" where I will eat what I please. I've been craving the Olive Garden's Chocolate Lasagna for about a week now so maybe I'll force my husband to take me to my favorite/his most hated restaurant.

I never thought I'd be two days into this and already reporting a 5 lbs loss. Yay me.

215

Today I weighed myself and I was a little lighter, 215. However, I don't consider this a weight loss because my weight can fluctuate depending on what time of day it is and how much I've eaten thus far. I exercised this morning on an empty stomach. I actually wasn't hungry this morning at all. But I just woke up, did about 20 minutes on the treadmill, and in about half an hour I'll eat some eggs and yogurt or something.

Yesterday was actually Day 1. It went pretty well, and uneventful. I got up, exercised for 20 minutes on the treadmill (right now I'm walking and running- alternating). I didn't have much time before I had to go to work so I ate right after exercising. I made scrambled eggs and ate a fat free yogurt and a glass of water.

At work I ate a banana and applesauce for snacks. Lunch was a Lean Gourmet (because they're so cheap and I don't have enough time to make anything). I drank only water. I was also tempted when my co-worker brought in home made desserts (why would she do that to us?)- creme brulee and chocolate cake because she was just "trying to get rid of it because she'll never eat it." Never will I, but thanks for bringing that into my day... thats great. Oh well, if I get through this and am thing again the self control I'm learning will be good for me.

On the treadmill I keep a picture of me in my prom dress, it's kinda like a reminder of how far I've come, and how far I need to go.

I'm only going to measure myself once a week, so next Monday I'll probably post those again. Maybe I'll have made some progress, but this early on I'm not expecting any. The beginning is always the hardest part: doing all this work, and for the first week or two not really feeling like I'm getting anything out of it. Once I make it past those first rough spots, hopefully I'll have even more motivation.

217- Before

* On February 13th I actually discovered that weighing myself on the carpet was skewing results. Thus, I actually started my blogging at 212 lbs, unbeknown to me!


My journey begins at 217 lbs. Size XL shirt and size 16 pants. BMI approximately 38
My goal: 130-135.

Here are my measurements:
Left arm (upper): 16 1/4
Right arm (upper): 16 1/2
Bust: 43
Waist: 43 1/2
Hips: 46
Chin (from crown to under the jaw): 23
Chest (under breasts): 39 1/2
Right thigh: 30
Left Thigh 30 1/2
Right Calve: 18 1/4
Left Calve: 18 1/2

My plan: exercise every morning, alternate on the treadmill and weights/resistance. Eat several small meals a day, drink only water. My meals will consist of simple proteins and carbs and not a whole lot else. For example, in the morning I might have 2-3 eggs and a fat free yogurt or apple. Once a week I'll allow myself to go one day without worrying what I eat. I will do this plan for at least 12 weeks, and see where I end up. Hopefully, I'll be a much happier person when this is all over and done with. Also, I will keep myself healthy.

The end of my 12 week limit is April 10th. I have to make it to that date. Wish me luck.